The Milwaukee Beers are the main team in BASEketball. Matt Stone plays Doug "Sir Swish" Remer, Trey Parker plays Joe "Coop" "Airman" Cooper, and Dian Bachar plays Kenny "Squeak" "Little Bitch" Scolari. They are basically 3 losers who make a driveway party game into a worldwide sport. They win the Denslow Cup, after losing it a few times. To get the cup, they go through much laughter and some anguish.
Doug Remer and Joe Cooper
As far as we know Coop and Remer have been childhood friends. Whether it's becoming a big sports hero like Reggie Jackson or owning a big sports bar, Coop and Remer have been together through thick and thin. But all friends have a time when things don't go so smooth. Remer becomes a sell-out, and it leads to the end of the Dream-Come-True Foundation. Coop solves Remer's problems, and they become friends again, just in time to win Denslow Cup V. Coop ends up dating Jenna Reed, the director of the Foundation, and Remer gets Yvette Denslow, Ted's widow. DUDE!
Kenny Scolari is the little bitch of the Beers. It is not clear when Coop and Remer met him, but it was probably during their younger years. When Squeak lost his job at the Gas Company, Coop and Remer decided to let him move in and join the team. He is easily the worst player on the team, and gets ripped on the most. He has a guy, errr girlfriend, at least. He actually does something for the team, when he psyches- out Big Ed Tuttle. But just remember, he's hit his fair share of homeruns too.
The Denslow Cup
The Denslow Cup of the NBL is like the Stanley Cup of the NHL. Only thing is, the playoffs are played in the most confusing format ever. If you know what I'm talking about, good. If not, forget it, because it's too damn hard to explain. There have been 5 Denslow Cups, with the Beers being an opponent in most of them, with Denslow Cup V being their first win. The Dallas Felons are, I hate to say it, the Cowboys of the NFL, winning Denslow Cups 3 and 4. It's a mystery as to who won 1 and 2. The actual Denslow Cup has the bowl/plate thing Coop, Remer, and Squeak won as The Shirts, in the original BASEketball championship. The Denslow Cup is named after late Beers owner Ted Denslow, whose vision brought the game from driveways to arenas across America.
Theodore Denslow (Ernest Borgnine)
The founder of the National BASEketball Leage, Ted Denslow brought the game from driveways to arenas across the country. He passed away at age 85 (his hairpiece was 24), giving control of the Beers to Coop. He was married to Yvette Denslow.
Baxter Cain (Robert Vaughn)
The antagonist in the film, Baxter Cain is the ruthless, greedy owner of the Dallas Felons. He sets out to change the ownership rules, turn Remer against Coop, and blackmail the Beers. Somehow wooed Yvette after Ted's passing.
The director of the Dream Come True Foundation, and the love interest of Coop. At first she thinks BASEketball is just a game, and later thinks that Coop is worthless; by the end of the movie Coop proves her wrong on both accounts after he saves the Foundation.
Yvette Denslow (Jenny McCarthy)
Widow of Ted Denslow, she is spiteful after he gives "the best three months of her life" (controlling interest of the Beers) to Coop. She quickly sides with Baxter Cain, since the team will revert to her if the Beers lose the Denslow Cup. She ends up with Remer at the end.
Joey Thomas (Trevor Einhorn)
Little Joey Thomas is one of the kids in Jenna's Dream Come True Foundation. Coop is his role model, and he loves watching all of the Beers' games. His dream come true was to spend a day with the Beers, which ending with his sodium levels through the roof and smelling like Robert Downy, Jr. Makes a BASEketball out of a Barca-Lounger, which Coop uses to win Denslow Cup V.
Kato Kaelin as Driveway Announcer Reel Big Fish as the Beers house band (Aaron Barrett, Matt Wong, Scott Klopfenstein, Dan Regan, Tavis Werts, Grant Barry, Andrew Gonzales) Bob Costas Al Michaels Reggie Jackson Dan Patrick Kenny Mayne Tim McCarver Pat O'Brien Jim Lampley Dale Earnhardt Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Victoria Silvstedt Robert Stack